This is Ashtyn's Essay, on her first battle. This is her own words.
I have a deep resentment toward a chronic illness I have. I have been diagnosed with a disease called Gastroparesis. Gastroparesis is a condition that affects the ability of the stomach to empty its contents, but there is no blockage. Symptoms of my disease is abdominal distention, nausea, premature abdominal fullness after meals, unintentional weight loss, fatigue, abdominal pain and vomiting.
I have been to numerous doctors and hospitals hoping to be cured. I was told there is no cure for my disease. I had two surgeries last year and it didn’t help my condition. I am on experimental medications prescribed by my doctor that are not sold in the United States. Two weeks ago, I had surgical procedure in which the doctor injected botox into the outlet of my stomach. I still do not feel better.
This disease has controlled and ruined the last two and a half years of my life. I was not able to attend my Junior and Senior years of high school. A teacher came to my house three times a week to teach me. I was too sick to go to school or do any other social activities. I was a competitive Level 8 gymnast and had to retire. I couldn’t even hold down a part time job at the mall. I am so sick every day, that it is a struggle for me to go to college. I have always wanted to be a chef, but it will be difficult for me to eat or taste the food I will prepare.
I want to have a career and life that I have always dreamed of. It is my hope that scientists will discover a cure for my disease. The Gastroparesis Patient Association for Cures and Treatment has put together a petition that the organization plans to present to Senator McCain regarding funding for gastric mobility disorders. I have signed that petition with the sincere hope funding will be granted to discover a cure for me and others like me.
Throughout the last couple of years, I have witnessed the dedication and devotion my parents have bestowed upon me, as my parents have struggled to help me through my illness. The countless doctors appointments and trips to the emergency room in the middle of the night. I have watched them struggle to pay my medical bills and my prescription drugs. I have listened to telephone conversations as my mom fights with the insurance company to get them to pay my bills. My parents have lost days at work, sometimes without pay to take care of me. My love for my mom and dad has become stronger every day.
I have a boyfriend who has been by my side while I struggle with my disease. I think most guys would have walked away. He holds my hand while I lay on the couch in horrible pain. He is patient with me while I struggle to eat a morsel of food. There are many times that I haven’t eaten anything in days. He sometimes gets me to eat, but afterwards I am usually sick. I have lost 40 pounds over the last couple of years. Food is the source of all my pain. I have cancelled many dates with him, to sick to go anywhere.
There are days when I feel sorry for myself and I ask God, “Why did this happen to me? What did I do to deserve this illness?” The only answer I hear in return is silence. Maybe God has a plan for me. Maybe I am supposed to go through this so that I can help others who are like me. I tell myself I must have faith in the unknown. I must have faith that scientists will find a cure for this debilitating disease. Without faith and hope I have nothing. Maybe I am supposed to become closer to God through prayer and worship. I just wish God would hear me and help me. I will pray to Him everyday and ask Him to make me well. I must live my life with love, hope and faith that someday I will be healthy again. I must take one day and a time and not let my disease rule my life.
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